# 22 Disney Land: Where Dreams Don’t Come True

I’ve started weaning off Disney. No more movies. I only listen to the Disney Princess CD when I’m at the gym. I ‘d been doing pretty well until I met my match. The ultimate Disney fan.

I went to my friend Jess’s Birthday party, I met #22. He was DJing and played a mash-up of Disney songs, Nikki Minaje’s Moment for Life with Kiss the Girl.

Swoon.

Whew.

I pounced on him like the hyenas in Lion King. It was really ‘unprincess-y’ of me but I couldn’t resist.  I wanted him to be Part of my World. I gushed over his music choice and gave him my number.

#22 called and invited me on a special date. Ideas and Disney story lines raced through my head. Walking down the beach like  in The Little Mermaid, spaghetti at an Italian restaurant like in Lady and the Tramp…finally, a true romance.

He picked me up at my house. He had made a CD full of Disney songs. Amazing. After listening to the theme songs of 12 movies, I started to wonder where he was taking me. I also came to the realization that listening to Disney songs with a guy who knows the lyrics better than you is less Prince charming and more King creepy.

Then, I saw the sign: Disneyland.

He was taking me to Disneyland. What a great spot for a date, aside from the fact that I hate amusement parks, children, waiting in line and being outdoors. I get really bad anxiety around children. I considered suggesting we just drive around singing along to Disney songs.

We went on a few rides. Even though they are made for children, I was terrified and thought I was going to die. Why weren’t the rides ‘true loved based?’  Why were they all based on scaring you or making you feel nauseous?

While walking to the ‘tea cups,” a tot bumped into me and spilled what I think was a milkshake on me.

Another kid pointed at me and commented that I had pooped myself. Another reason that I get nervous around kids is that they lack social graces and call  it like they see it. With my unemployed lifestyle, I prefer to surround myself with the less observant and dishonest types.

I asked #22 to take me home.

On the ride, I confessed that I didn’t like Disneyland. He was shocked, hurt and then downright offended. He called me a poser for liking the music and not liking the theme park.

Once upon a time, I did not find my prince.