Buck-up and put your high heels on.

I had an altercation a few weeks ago. It left me hurt and damaged in the worst way possible, for it was my sense of self esteem and direction that took a direct hit.

I graduated from college about a year ago. In that time, I have done my best to find a job, usually settling on short term gigs. I have made an even larger effort to avoid people who point out that, despite my education, I have only found temping jobs.

I was at the gym and waiting for a class to start and a woman asked me where I worked. I told her I just finished a freelance gig (I left out that it ended two months ago). She asked me what my plans were after I finished the gig.

I realized I have no plan for after. A year out of college and I still can’t answer how I will afford rent next month. This.is.not.good.

In addition to this, I had to do my taxes and face the truth that I didn’t make enough to cover my rent this year and burned through my savings. Harsh realities set it. I realized that I need to get a job ASAP or else I will have to move back in with my parents. The thought of this is utterly, paralyzingly depressing.

Due to this, I spent the last few weeks on a MISSION, to find a job. So far, no major leads, but I was focusing so fully on it, forgoing dates, friends – applying for jobs, all of the time. I believe that my efforts will lead to a job soon… Either that, or next time someone asks me what I am doing with my life, I will tell them that I am still in high school. At that point, I’d be living at home anyway, so I might as well be in high school.

Regardless, I am returning to the dating scene. After a few weeks of ‘no’s’ I will start giving guys my number again. Bye bye ‘don’t cry out loud’ pity party and hello resuming my life.

So here I go.
Buck up.
Put on my high heels.
New dates awaits me.
Post soon.
Get excited.